quest


I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:
marulaki@hotmail.com


The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.


Thursday, November 21, 2013

693. Research: Abuse Is Not Only Unhealthy For The Victim But Also For The Abuser

693.  Research: Abuse Is Not Only Unhealthy For The Victim But Also For The Abuser

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/11/131119093306.htm
"...  casual sexual relationship. These were defined as any relationship in which the participant reported he or she was “only having sex with partner” as opposed to dating."
I consider casual sex as a form of abuse, but the motives and reasons differ very much between the genders.  Both copulate with another entity, which they do not value as a person to be committed and attached to.  They use each other for completely selfish and exploitive reasons and ulterior goals.  

Men practice this form of abuse to restore homeostasis for their instinctive physiological urges.   They use the women as objects.   Using women's bodies is in itself their goal.     
Women participate in this form of self-abuse for the purpose of obtaining material or other non-sexual benefits.   The agreement to be abused is a method. The men are insignificant instruments for goals, in which the men themselves are not needed.  

According to the study, this abuse is unhealthy for both genders:     
"Researchers found that teens who showed depressive symptoms were more likely than others to engage in casual sex as young adults. In addition, those who engaged in casual sex were more likely to later seriously consider suicide."

“There’s always been a question about which one is the cause and which is the effect. This study provides evidence that poor mental health can lead to casual sex, but also that casual sex leads to additional declines in mental health.”

One surprising finding was that the link between casual sex and mental health was the same for both men and women.

“That was unexpected because there is still this sexual double standard in society that says it is OK for men to have casual sexual relationships, but it is not OK for women,” Kamp Dush said.

“But these results suggest that poor mental health and casual sex are linked, whether you’re a man or a woman.”

Adolescents from 80 high schools and 52 middle schools were interviewed when they were in grades 7 through 12 and then again when they were aged 18 to 26.

In all, this study involved about 10,000 people who were surveyed about their romantic relationship experiences across time, as well as depressive symptoms and thoughts of suicide.

Overall, 29 percent of the respondents reported engaging in any casual sexual relationship. These were defined as any relationship in which the participant reported he or she was “only having sex with partner” as opposed to dating. This included 33 percent of men and 24 percent of women.

The results do point to a possible “cyclical pattern” in which poor mental health leads to casual sex, which leads to further declines in mental health, Sandberg-Thoma said.

“The goal should be to identify adolescents struggling with poor mental health so that we can intervene early before they engage in casual sexual relationships,” she said.

Kamp Dush said casual sexual relationships may hurt the ability of young adults to develop committed relationships at an important time in their development.

“Young adulthood is a time when people begin to learn how to develop long-term, satisfying and intimate relationships,” she said.